Milk, toxic chemicals and consumer choice gone mad.

I have been so stressed out recently.

Firstly the Chinese Baby milk situation has totally freaked me out, and I am so thankful that I have stuck with the breastfeeding (for so many reasons)

Secondly, I have just discovered the atrocity that is BPA. How I never knew about this, I don't know. There is a chemical in baby bottles (amongst other things) that is immensely toxic to humans, causing disturbances in hormones and increasing chances of diabetes and cancer.

Thirdly, I went to the supermarket to buy some milk last week and could not believe the choice. I normally buy from the organic store, but I was after hours so had to go to the "pretend market" (the type where all the apples are the same shape, size and colour, but don't actually smell like apples). Why is there a whole aisle dedicated to milk? Blue top, yellow top, pale blue top, red top, mans milk, extra calcium, calcitrim, protein enriched, energy milk, womans diet milk... not to mention the flavoured soy, rice and almond milks. I remember when my milk was delivered in the morning by the milkman, in a bottle with a silver top - totally ecofriendly as it was easily recycled, it was local ( I could see the cows that it came from out of my bedroom window), and my milkman drove an electric van. I just don't get it?

I am too tired to lead a great debate on this subject... but need to get it off my chest. You see, I just don't get it.

The great unknown...

Well, the house has sold!
So, there is definitely no going back now.

Settlement date is 10 October, and we depart the land of the long white cloud on 11 October - heading to Brisbane. The plan is to have 6 weeks in Australia slowly making our way from Brisbane to Sydney in a camper van (with a 5 1/2 month old baby? - yes, thats right!) We are getting excited, but at the same time I feel sick, nervous, confused, scared, sad.. is it possible to feel all those things at once? Of course it is - I am a woman.

NZ has been fabulous to me. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities and experiences I have had here. I have surfed, hiked, off roaded, SCUBA-d...eaten scallops caught fresh 2 minutes ago, caught and cooked my own snapper, grown delicious veggies and made beautiful pasta.
I have fallen in love again and again with my adventurous hubby who never ceases to amaze me - he is the most caring person in the world and I am so proud to have him as a best friend. And of course, NZ has given me my gorgeous wee girl.

Career wise, I would never had had the opportunities in UK that I have had here. Who would have imagined that when I left school with no idea of what to do, that I would end up being a bank manager...? A manager that broke the rules injecting creativity and care into the mundane world of finance. While other managers focussed on stats in their Monday meetings, I ran riot creating "service murals," "brand portraits," and watching Timon and Pumba. And it paid off (phew!)

NZ has been a grand adventure to us. We have made it work by truly "living for the moment." We used the FISH philosophy and have had fun everyday. If it wasn't fun, we changed it. If we couldn't control it we didn't worry about it. The plan is to continue like this in UK.... I can't help but worry about how this may go down. Will we be eventually 'voted off the island"? The big brother culture over there may not be able to cope with 3 born again free spirits.

My greatest fear is that we conform to the norm. Especially when it comes to raising Maya. In NZ it is fine to be a barefooted, baby wearing, breast feeding mother. I am what I consider to be a "balanced attached parent." Will this attitude be frowned on? Will I be told to wean? Will I be made to feel like I am spoiling my girl?
Remember, Kiwi, no one can make you feel anything, unless you give them your permission! I must be staunch, stand tall and ride on the wave of my mana (that's maori for power). I must envision the haka if I start to "feel" something other than ok. I must remember that although I am a Brit (and a proud one at that) I have had 6 years developing my kiwi spirit. No one can take that away from me.

Chocolate Therapy

Last week we went "over the hill" to the Wairarapa Valley (look for Martinborough wines in the supermarket - Savs and Pinots). There is a lovely town there called Greytown - French influences for some reason, and lots of lovely antique shops. My favourite shop of all is Schoc - the chocolate therapy shop. They make delicious chocolate in all kinds of delicious flavours. The best part is that you can try before you buy - which we made the most of!


I would have loaded pictures of what we bought, however I ate it all too quickly!


However, here is the lovely logo so you can recognise it if ever you see it

We bought: Lime and Chilli, Seasalt (which is divine with champagne), 75%, Earl Grey and White chocolate with Cardamon (my favourite).

I am wondering how I will survive back in Blighty without this type of therapy....cadburys just won't cut it anymore!

Mamma Mia

Maya and I attended the Mums and Bubs session of Mamma Mia at the movies today, and I have to say that it was fabulously cheesy, and I loved it!
However, there is a song toward the end that I have never heard before called "Slipping through my fingers" Its a mother singing about her daughter growing up, and how she feels she is losing her... well, you can imagine - I cried my eyes out. Poor wee Maya must have thought I had lost the plot. It moved me enough to dash out and immediately purchase the CD, and I have been playing it all afternoon.
I think I will have to retire to bed now - I am red eyed and emotionally fraught. Oh dear, my girl is only 3 months old - how will I actually cope on her first day at school/graduation/18th/wedding...?

We've done it!

Well, we've done it now. The house is "on the market."
I am 80% sure we are making the right decision. I love NZ, but timing and fate seems to be telling us to head back home.
Things happen for a reason, eh?
I've been homesick for a while now, and with Maya's arrival family has become immensely important to me. The thought of her growing up not knowing her grandparents, aunties, cousins... well, to be frank it breaks my heart.
My nightmare pregnancy brought home to us both just how far away we are. Things got quite serious there for a while, and my poor hubby could have ended up here alone with both Maya and me in ICU (or worse). Its at least 30 hours, and $3000 for anyone to get here. Hideous - it doesn't bare thinking about.
So, check it out: http://www.nz.open2view.com/Property/187329?key=ad4256453fffe19ac373&search_id=6346429

Any interest?

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Europachic! Thanks hun.
The rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you and post the rules on your blog
2. Share 5 songs you are embarrassed to admit to others that you like and tell why.
3. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post. (I don't know 7 people so have tagged 3)

OK, my song choices are....

1, Guns and Roses Paradise City - the ultimate housework song. If I need to do a major spring clean I put on the "gunners"
2, Pina Collada ( I think its Rupert Holmes) I can't help but dance to this one, and I love the cheesy lyrics - so easy to sing along to
3, Land of Hope and Glory, or the official title - Pomp and Circumstance. This brings a tear to my eye every time I hear it. I get goosebumps. I love Last Night of the Proms for this song alone.
4, Its a Kind of Magic - Queen. This song sadly reminds me of work, and an amazing conference I went to. It was played everytime we needed some motivation.... and it worked. (I think it was a bit of a cult conference - along the lines of Tony Robbins!) Now when I hear it I still feel inspired to "WoW my customers"
5, Poi e - The Patea Maori Group. Unless you are a Kiwi, you won't get this one... but I encourage you to Youtube it. Its a fab song with a totally awful video. However, it was created by a group of people to raise money and awareness for their plight when the whole town was made redundant when the local industry closed its doors. Very catchy, and quite inspiring. Unfortunately, the town is a real ghost town now.

The 3 people I now tag

One Fabulous Mom
The Persuader
Get Artsy, Mama

Hunting for style

To accomplish my mission of reinstating my fashion sense and becoming a yummy mummy, I have treated myself to a nappy bag. Its the Skip*Hop Duo, and I love it.

Look at this yummy mummy. I'll look just like her soon - except with bigger bazoombas!

Skip*Hop are fab - I love this:

I'd like it for eating off myself, never mind for when Maya starts eating.

A Kiwi sense of style

I set off on my daily walk today. Its about 15 minutes into the city - I follow the river route and cross quite a high bridge, so it can get pretty windy. I wore my slouch jeans, a lovely merino wool sweater and my gortex walking shoes. In a hurry as my wee girl was screaming blue murder, I threw on my purple pashmina, black snowboard jacket, my black wool beret, black leather gloves and my CK large frame prescription sunglasses. Ran out the house pushing the stealth bomber style buggy, and thought "success" ( I had managed to put on some bronzer with my mascara today!)
It was only as I reached the town and passed the bank with the mirrored windows that I realised I looked like a French assasin from a James Bond movie! All be it, quite a stylee one, but certainly not the yummy mummy I aspire to be.
When did my fashion sense dissolve? I think it has been a gradual process since moving to NZ. I have become a bonafide Kiwi!
My hubby is far worse. I looked across at him tonight.... What an icon. I so need the fab five from Queer Eye to come give him a makeover. He was wearing: Camoflage 3/4 shorts, dark brown ugg boots, a black and blue merino longsleeve thermal (known over here as the polyprop) and his old England Rugby t-shirt, which was covered in paint and baby sick! Oh dear.... it is a worry. Our daughter is the best dressed out of the 3 of us. I must go on a shopping spree now that I am back to my pre-baby weight.

2 minute makeover

I love make-up.

A couple of years ago I was seeking a passion in life - and decided that make-up was it. My lovely hubby bought me the Bobbi Brown vanity case, and I treated myself to some brushes. Every month I would set out on my pilgramage to the Mecca that is the MAC counter and splurge on an eye shadow. I was the proverbial kid in the candy store.

Personal fovourites: Viva Glam VI lipstick, and Bobbi Brown Bone eyeshadow. Item I can't live without.... YSL Touche Eclat- what else?

So how am I coping at the moment? With a new baby I just about have time to brush my teeth in a morning, never mind sit for 20 minutes painting my face.

Thank goodness for post natal hormones thats all I can say. My skin has never been better. I do not have a pimple to cover. And that is huge for me after a lifetime of acne (2 times on Roaccutane!)

That aside, I am desperate to get into some sort of routine that allows me to "get some slap on" just for the sake of it. I am missing the pampering, the preening and the feeling of looking in the mirror and seeing someone a little bit different from yesterday.

My current 2 minute make-over comprises of mascara and Purelan nipple cream (I've discovered this is the best lipgloss in the world - it beats Elizabeth Arden 8 hour cream hands down!)

My passion has been sparked again this afternoon when I discovered that Bobbi has created personalised palletes. She is selling individual square eyeshadows and blushes which slot nicely into a sleek pallete with mirror. I am coveting.... http://www.bobbibrown.co.uk/whatsnew/wn_getpersonal.tmpl Favouries look to be Slate, Steel, Smoke and Navy. However, I may have to plan a trip into the city next week to check them out in the flesh, so to speak. I wonder if I could schedule a make-over in between feeds?

Seven perfect hours

A very quick blog to express my excitement...

My baby girl slept for 7 hours through the night!!!!

Oh yes, for the first time in ages I do not feel like a complete zombie. Heaven.

I blame it on Greys Anatomy

A medical question;
Since having Maya, Doctors now appear to have a golden sheen. Why is this?

Is there some hormone produced during pregnancy that makes the medical profession more attractive? Is the sleep deprivation causing medical related hallucinations? Or is it the pure emotion of motherhood?

It started with my anaesthetist. Laying on the operating table, I was laying back and thinking of England (although, of course not in a sexual way) My life was literally in other peoples hands. As my blood pressure dropped, my vision faded, tongue swelled and jaw froze I looked up into my saviors eyes. Never mind McDreamy - he was McWonderful. He may have used drugs and oxygen to bring me back, but in my mind, he used his big blue eyes and bedside manner to save me.

Then came the South African midwife who gave me my little girl to hold. This was after multiple doses of morphine and a sugar laden ice lolly.... so you can understand when I say she had a halo and a golden aura.

The Irish paediatrician who looked after Maya was the gentlest, kindest, most caring....the list goes on. Doctors that take care of children are extremely special, and those that look after babies practically walk on water. McIrish was young, wore plaid shirts and glasses of circa 1995.... but my heart skipped beats when he walked in the room. Although perhaps that was because he made the decision on when we could go home.

Finally, on Wednesday a visit to the GP. This guy confirmed our pregancy last September. I remember leaving his office thinking "he was nice." He is late 30's, with hair in need of a haircut. Looks slightly like Martin Clunes without the ears. But on Wednesday I came out with a vision of Martin Clunes playing an iconic figure - Gladiator perhaps. (Oh, imagine that. Martin Clunes instead of Russell Crowe - would it have won any Oscars? I think not!)

Is it that these people now play a different role in my life, or is it the role of the medical drama? Did it start with George Clooney and I am only now seeing the light? Whatever it is, long may it continue. We have an appointment with the osteopath today... I wonder if he has the same effect...

A lazy blogger and a hungry horace

Ok, so I am officially a lazy blogger! But, come on, I have a 7 week old daughter who is a complete hungry horrace, and I have not figured out a way to breastfeed and type at the same time.

My wee girl is quite amazing. This week she has given us 5 smiles each day, has developed a unique facial expression which I have entitled "disgusted French chef" and now makes a lovely high pitched sigh after she sneezes. How much cuter can she get?

I think she may end up being a fine food connoisseur - that'll teach me for watching the Food Channel while under house arrest after my waters broke. At the moment she is just being a complete glutton - lining her stomach for all the lovely tastes which may come her way in the future. She had her first taste of Baby Pamol today and loved it (so did her mum, I had a moment of regression into my own babyhood.) We took her for her scary jabs, which were scarier for mum and dad than they were for her. She was absolutley fine. I think she is used to needles now after all the pokes and prods in the Special Care Unit.

I promise not all my blogs will be of baby boredom! But seriously, I am so proud of my wee girl. Look how far she's come already...

Start of my creative flair?

After reading (some) of the book "The Artists Way" I liked the idea of free writing... however, to wake at dawn to do it did not sit well with me. So, instead I thought I would try free blogging. Hope to get out my thoughts and emotions as well as tell a little about life as a Kiwi Crellin.