The great unknown...

Well, the house has sold!
So, there is definitely no going back now.

Settlement date is 10 October, and we depart the land of the long white cloud on 11 October - heading to Brisbane. The plan is to have 6 weeks in Australia slowly making our way from Brisbane to Sydney in a camper van (with a 5 1/2 month old baby? - yes, thats right!) We are getting excited, but at the same time I feel sick, nervous, confused, scared, sad.. is it possible to feel all those things at once? Of course it is - I am a woman.

NZ has been fabulous to me. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities and experiences I have had here. I have surfed, hiked, off roaded, SCUBA-d...eaten scallops caught fresh 2 minutes ago, caught and cooked my own snapper, grown delicious veggies and made beautiful pasta.
I have fallen in love again and again with my adventurous hubby who never ceases to amaze me - he is the most caring person in the world and I am so proud to have him as a best friend. And of course, NZ has given me my gorgeous wee girl.

Career wise, I would never had had the opportunities in UK that I have had here. Who would have imagined that when I left school with no idea of what to do, that I would end up being a bank manager...? A manager that broke the rules injecting creativity and care into the mundane world of finance. While other managers focussed on stats in their Monday meetings, I ran riot creating "service murals," "brand portraits," and watching Timon and Pumba. And it paid off (phew!)

NZ has been a grand adventure to us. We have made it work by truly "living for the moment." We used the FISH philosophy and have had fun everyday. If it wasn't fun, we changed it. If we couldn't control it we didn't worry about it. The plan is to continue like this in UK.... I can't help but worry about how this may go down. Will we be eventually 'voted off the island"? The big brother culture over there may not be able to cope with 3 born again free spirits.

My greatest fear is that we conform to the norm. Especially when it comes to raising Maya. In NZ it is fine to be a barefooted, baby wearing, breast feeding mother. I am what I consider to be a "balanced attached parent." Will this attitude be frowned on? Will I be told to wean? Will I be made to feel like I am spoiling my girl?
Remember, Kiwi, no one can make you feel anything, unless you give them your permission! I must be staunch, stand tall and ride on the wave of my mana (that's maori for power). I must envision the haka if I start to "feel" something other than ok. I must remember that although I am a Brit (and a proud one at that) I have had 6 years developing my kiwi spirit. No one can take that away from me.

Chocolate Therapy

Last week we went "over the hill" to the Wairarapa Valley (look for Martinborough wines in the supermarket - Savs and Pinots). There is a lovely town there called Greytown - French influences for some reason, and lots of lovely antique shops. My favourite shop of all is Schoc - the chocolate therapy shop. They make delicious chocolate in all kinds of delicious flavours. The best part is that you can try before you buy - which we made the most of!


I would have loaded pictures of what we bought, however I ate it all too quickly!


However, here is the lovely logo so you can recognise it if ever you see it

We bought: Lime and Chilli, Seasalt (which is divine with champagne), 75%, Earl Grey and White chocolate with Cardamon (my favourite).

I am wondering how I will survive back in Blighty without this type of therapy....cadburys just won't cut it anymore!

Mamma Mia

Maya and I attended the Mums and Bubs session of Mamma Mia at the movies today, and I have to say that it was fabulously cheesy, and I loved it!
However, there is a song toward the end that I have never heard before called "Slipping through my fingers" Its a mother singing about her daughter growing up, and how she feels she is losing her... well, you can imagine - I cried my eyes out. Poor wee Maya must have thought I had lost the plot. It moved me enough to dash out and immediately purchase the CD, and I have been playing it all afternoon.
I think I will have to retire to bed now - I am red eyed and emotionally fraught. Oh dear, my girl is only 3 months old - how will I actually cope on her first day at school/graduation/18th/wedding...?